Have you ever felt like you were just surviving? Just getting by?
I hate to admit it, especially when I have so much to be grateful for! My sweet daughter and 2 precious boys.
But that has been going on. Oh yes, I am enjoying life as much as someone who gets 2 hours of sleep at night (at most) can get. It really can be quite debilitating. Sleep deprivation that is.
As a nursing mother, with Maddox, our last baby, I have perpetuated his need to get up and feel me beside him and comfort nurse all night. Of course he isn't hungry, and does not nurse for long, but would get upset just long enough for me to have to get up with him. I know not to bring him to bed, I never did with the others, but when you are so tired you cant think rational thoughts, this is what you do. See, I thought well at least I can rest a little when really even after he fell asleep I could not sleep due to his kicking or smelling milk and stirring all night. Then there goes another night of sleep.
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And... I love my pediatrician. Think he is the best doctor I have ever had the privilege of calling our doctor. But as anyone who has been in this particular place I was in knows, when someone recommends a book to a working mother who sleeps 2 hours at most it is not really advice that is taken.
After my husband was finally good enough to not only speak up about the change that needed to take place as well as put a foot down and say this is not healthy, I asked around. I read excerpts from a book I lived by with Hudson. (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth) My sister gave this to me. Although Hudson slept through the night on his own and napped really well. It just helped me to look for signs of a sleepy baby and teach him how to fall asleep on his own. I used these same techniques with Maddox and they didn't work. I was beyond frustrated and had resigned myself to have a baby who didn't sleep.
Listen this book is not just for babies who sleep well, it was designed to help anyone whatever the baby personality is, but I never had to read about difficult sleepers before so I would read over those chapters quickly reading only the interesting details.
When Dustin finally said, let make a game plan I got advice from other mothers (maybe even permission to let him cry) and I tried to take in what I could from written text. I didn't retain a lot, but apparently enough. The permission to hurt with the hope to benefit through it. The one thing I kept repeating to myself is that Maddox did not need to eat. He actually needed nothing.
The book said if they wake up happy in the morning that is all the reassurance you need. So now that Maddox was old enough it was time to let him cry. AHHHH
Cant even type the words much less do that on my own. We started laying him down after his nightly ritual, saying night night and shutting the door over Christmas break. (my husband and I are both teachers and have lots of time off over the holiday.)
I would let him cry one night but Dustin would not move fast enough on other nights and I would be running past him to get Maddox and hold him and soothe him and pretty soon Dustin's hard work would go out the window.
We tried again the second week of January but that was Dustin's first week back from Christmas break and he too would get tired and just let me do what seemed easiest at the time.
Well, this week we both decided to work together. At his urging, I was not to go into Maddox's' room at all during the night. When Maddox woke he would go in, change his diaper, and then put him back to bed without saying a word to him except night night. He is tough! I could not do that. But that is why God created Moms AND Dads!
Well on Friday night we laid him down at 7:30ish. Maddox got up once to eat at 9pm. Then we laid him down and he slept until 6am!
Was it a fluke? We did it again. Saturday night... no Maddox until 6:30 am again.
And then last night, laid him down after feeding him again at 9. Guess what!!!?!!
He woke up at 7:30 am!
I know letting them cry is hard. He was particularly difficult. There were times he would cry over 30 minutes. Longest 30+ minutes of my life. He would cry and gag and scream. It was so horrible. But I just kept repeating, he doesn't need anything! He has a clean diaper, a full tummy and is tired. What he needs is sleep.
I know some people think this is the cruelest form of punishment there is. Some people may judge and say I am selfish for wanting sleep.
But deep down, beyond my own hurting heart, I knew this was right. Maddox needed to learn how to put himself to sleep. I am doing him and the rest of my family a favor. It is making him healthier, me healthier, and everyone happier!
Once we started working together to be consisten it took just a few nights. Already its like a "cure."
When he is tired during the day we can go lay him down in his crib and he will go right to sleep without having to cry out. How crazy! I have to thank Dustin on this one.
Just wanted to share my story. I had to use an iPod with earphones to get through it. Really my husband did all the work. But I had to be on board for it to be a success.
